My Dreams....

I dream.

Not always a fruitful one or the one which is expected to change my life. I just dream the good old dream. It has the same theme always, but the people in my dreams change and I change.

Once I am a demur person, a very homely kind with a heart full of love. Another time, I dream myself to be a career oriented, GenX person, for whom career and love goes hand in hand. Another time, I am just a brainy student with big dreams for my future.

I am unable to figure out what triggers me into these spasmodic "dreaming". But it gives me great joy, some amount of respite from the day to day madness.

I dream of all the things that I was either denied or I lost because I was too dumb to realize back then how important it could have been.

Sometimes, I think, how things would have been drastically different today, had I said those words then, to that person, that day. There are plenty of such words, such people, such days, that I have seen fly away, when I stand helpless and dumb seeing it go away. I have seen many of my dreams realized by others, some very close to me.

I dream when cooking, when travelling or when just standing in the bus stop waiting for the bus. I dream of past always and I realize, I alone could have made my past much better, happier in more than one ways and had I done that I would have been there where I dream of being today. That dream would have been a reality.

But then, probably, I would have dreamt of what I am today and wish I had taken the other road, the road I am traversing today.

That's life I guess......and it moves on...dream or no dream......

First Post...

I blog elsewhere too...this is not my first blog, my third in fact.

I abandoned the first one, because I had started off with a "kiss-ass" kind of post.

Second one, I still keep, though there are no visitors, to post things that are not scandalous.

Third one, to speak my mind....not bothering about who reads it or who does not. I intend to post things with abandon, all that goes on in my heart, in my brain, here. Sort of a respite from my continuous, background hum of conversation with myself.

I am a very emotional person with my heart in a place where my brain should have been. I feel sad listening to sad songs, I feel happy seeing a small baby, I fall in love when I see a person who fits my description of "the person", I can hate someone just because they blew their nose in front of me.

So here goes my thoughts, my conversations with myself, the dreams I dream always.....