Thursday, 31 December 2009

Ha this pain....

What he doesn't know
Is that I love him in my heart
I knew that he was special
I could tell right from the start

What he doesn't know
Is that when I close my eyes
All I can see is his image
As he slowly passes by

What he doesn’t know
Is that I remember every word
Every single thing he says
Everything I've heard

What he doesn't know
Is that I dream of him at night
And what I really long for,
Is for him to be in my sight

What he doesn't know
Is that I long for him to say
Just one single word
Anything, so I can stay

What he doesn't know
Is that I treasure all the time
Every minute that I’m with him
Seems like a lifetime in my mind

What he doesn't know
Is that we’re so far apart
I wish that he knew
Because It’s tearing at my heart

What he doesn't know
Is that when he doesn't say goodbye
He just gets up and leaves
It almost makes me cry

What he doesn't know
Is that I long to see him smile
To be with him all of this life
To make this all worth while

What he doesn't know
Is that every day I find
He becomes more desirable
And always very kind

What he doesn't know
Is all of the pain I feel
Because keeping this from him
Makes it all too real

What he doesn't know
Is that everything he said
Repeats over, and over
As I replay it in my head

What he doesn't know
Is how much his little acts of kindness
Matter to me
As I bask in those tiny moments

What he doesn't know
Is everything I hide
Afraid of what he’ll think
I keep it all inside

Saturday, 16 May 2009

Part 1

A pair of beautiful eyes....that would be the first thing you would notice about this girl. She was average looking....very beautiful in a few people's eyes, never in her own, though. Those eyes, brown in colour, hiding millions of dreams in them, were so striking. You could just lose yourself looking into its depths. And lose himself he did.

It was her dream company and after toiling hard for years her stars shined. She got a call for an opening she had always craved for but had never imagined possible. At the end of 3 hours of technical discussions, she was convinced of her success. Though she was extremely surprised at how far she had come from an ignored intern to be a sought after professional. 

After the butterflies-in-stomach moments, she finally joined her dream company. For the first time in her life she had shown what she was worth. For the first time, people took notice of her rather than merely shaking their head off thinking, another ordinary, plain  failure of a person.

After a couple of weeks of harrowing experience in her new company, she realized whom she was to work with. Another dream come true...for the person was a guru in the field and unlike others she had met along her way, was willing to teach and to give credit when it was due. Then started long days and longer nights of toil. Few days ended in frustration while a few ended in a sense of accomplishment. A few other, though very rarely, ended in tears.

When she sat back thinking of why she was so emotional about her job, she realized she never was till now. All the previous bosses, previous projects, however demanding and demeaning, never had caused her to shed tears of inadequacy and helplessness. She realized with an alarm there was something wrong...or may be something right, for such a long time, she was not sure about being emotionally involved with her job. Love her job she did....but..there was something more.

Unlike all the movies and novels, they got married, without much ado. With all the necessary blessings and rumors. A simple, straightforward, wedding at home with a few friends from office as invitees. Nothing changed in office though. They were colleagues, he was the boss and she was his protege. Nothing had changed at all.....They continued to live as they did before the wedding. She at her home and he in his....Not a word was spoken of the wedding or the love they had for each other. An occassional glance with those lifeless eyes of his across the lunch table with people screaming and laughing at each other between them, was all she could get out of the relationship. She wondered if they had any...at times. But this never made them sad. Both of them were happy...contended. At times both of them wondered why they had tied the knot. Fear of losing each other to someone else? Both of them wondered, how in the ages of violent love stories, long walks, passionate emails, texts exchanged all around them, they managed to convey their love to each other never really speaking to each other about it. They never discussed their future except when it was with reference to their careers, even then they had an audience. 

The collegues' taunts, and friendly jabs were met with firm smiles on both thier faces. Never commiting to anything. Neither acknowledged the fact they were a married couple now, and that anything was different from before. How long would this last they would ask themselves and a firm "forever" was the answer from deep within. For both of them. 

Love each other, they did...more than anyone else. It probably was beyond all the material aspects...or just that they knew love just like this.

My Bestseller

I have been wanting to pen down my imaginations for quite some time now...and here we go.

On a Saturday, when I am "isolated" , so to speak, at home I have a good opportunity to write....

This might have to come in parts...let me see how it goes...